My previous article “Mindset Matters: A Positive Mind, A
Positive Life!” is about tuning to a right mindset. In this article, I focus on
action.
Understanding our needs
I would like to draw readers’ attention to this Maslow’s
hierarchy of needs, created by Abraham Maslow in 1943. When we are aware of our
own needs, we can take steps to boost our happiness and well-being.
Humans are complicated. We need to fulfil our basic needs
(physiological and safety), which are essential to our existence. After
satisfying our basic needs, we can focus on meeting higher-level needs, which
leads to more satisfaction. Love and belonging are emotional and interpersonal
needs that lead to feelings of connection and support. Esteem needs are related
to self-worth, accomplishment and respect. Self-actualisation, the realisation
of a person’s potential, is the pinnacle of the hierarchy of needs, which not
many individuals aspire to pursue, often due to a necessity to fulfil more
basic needs first.
Staying healthy
Maintaining work-life balance, eating healthy food,
exercising and having enough sleep and rest are critical to our wellbeing.
However, sometimes when we are focusing on accomplishing our goals, our health
becomes less of a priority. It's worth remembering that without good health, we
cannot achieve and sustain our goals. A healthy body will generate a happy
life, but it requires our conscious effort. I suggest individuals include
exercising and exposure to sunshine and nature into their weekly routine. If one
does not like sports, walking in nature to breathe in fresh air is still
beneficial. A healthy body will have energy to pursue goals, stay motivated and
when faced with adversity, it will be better equipped to weather the storm.
Financial stability
A stable income stream supporting all basic needs is a
cornerstone of financial health. Hard work and smart career choices are
essential to income growth and coupled with self-discipline and an investment
portfolio are the main ways of securing a degree of financial comfort. Some
people, eager to follow their passion or diversify their sources of income,
create a side business in addition to their main career path.
Enhancing relationship –
treat others the way you want to be treated
To receive kindness, fairness and respect from others, you
must act in the same way towards them. If you are impolite or disrespectful
people tend to shy away from you or respond rudely.
Your life will be happier when you treat others nicely.
Positive Relationships, another crucial element of the PERMA[1]
model, are essential to one’s happiness and well-being. Strong interpersonal
skills with authenticity help you to build genuine and sincere relationships,
leading to a happier life. An arrogant, inconsiderate, disrespectful
personality is a hindrance to forging positive relationships.
Happiness is contagious
Remember to smile more. When you are happy, you will affect
the vibe of your surroundings and lift the mood of the people around you.
Conversely, if you release negative energy, your environment will be full of
negativity. A happy person will be more welcome everywhere and attract
positivity.
Learning how to love
others
Knowing how to love others helps to earn love. As everyone
has a different perception of love, applying what is important to ourselves to
others may not mean love to them. Understanding what others need means we can take relevant action and
generate positive impacts. For example, our children prefer our presence
over presents - they want us to attend their school performances and celebrate
milestones together. Therefore, we should make time for shared activities and
put them in high priority.
Love must be expressed in words and aligned with action.
Love in your mind without delivering any message and action is pointless as
others don’t know it and cannot feel it.
Exploring and
understanding other’s perspectives
Exhibiting
empathy is critical in a healthy relationship. Listening to
understanding is an essential first step, asking relevant questions, expressing
agreement and paraphrasing in similar words, and giving friendly touch are
helpful. By playing
different roles in life, we can experience various perspectives.
Exercising self-love and
choosing the right people
Self-love
is necessary for sustaining long-term relationships. One must know how to love
oneself before loving others. Setting boundaries and detoxing from negative
relationships are beneficial to creating inner peace. Difficult people always
teach you a lesson, but you must learn it and move on.
Surround
yourself with authentic, kind, respectful and positive people and shy away for
those who complain and drain your energy. Positive people will bring in more
positive impacts to your life. Cherish them and don’t take them for granted.
Making the best choices
for yourself
Understanding
yourself is crucial. When making critical life decisions, spend more time
thinking. Collect information, compare pros and cons and make the best
selections for yourself. After thorough thinking, it is about putting effort
into achieving goals. There is no ideal situation, but it is all about
no regrets.
Addressing negative
feelings
Focusing
on the positives will not shield us from life sorrows, trauma, losses, and
other difficulties that can torture us. We cannot ignore our feelings;
self-acceptance is crucial; we must accept our weakness and be patient for our
hearts to be healed. Instead of focusing on immediate remedial action, we may
need to talk to someone we trust (friends, family, therapist or coach), or take
a break to allow our mind and body to rest and gradually recover. Even after a
meaningful rest, sorrow and pain may persist before disappearing. However, life
must go on and we must shift back to a new normal gradually and accept the
changes. By not disproportionately focusing on the issue, we can channel our
energy on our career, business, health, personal growth, relationships or
passion. Accepting the fact that life
cannot be perfect is helpful.
I suggest
two methods to minimise overthinking:
1)
when you want to stop thinking about something, keep
counting from 1 to 7 until you successfully shift your brain to something else,
2)
initiate a meditative state by deep breathing and focusing
on your inhale and exhale, which will help to reset your brain.
“Less is More”
philosophy
“Less is More” advocates simplicity and minimalism to create
room in our lives free from complexity. The principle emphasises simplicity,
focusing on essential elements, and avoiding unnecessary clutter. It is a
principle that underscores the importance of prioritising quality over
quantity.
Pursuing a luxurious life with more and more possessions can
be exhausting. Having fewer possessions but treasuring them is preferable to
accumulating a surplus. This principle conveys the concept that reducing
clutter, distractions, and unnecessary elements can lead to a more meaningful
and fulfilling existence.
Individuals can consider throwing away, donating or selling
things that they don’t need, so that they can reserve more space and save time.
Gradually, one will realize that life with fewer belongings can be fulfilling
and comfortable.
Life is about balance; individuals should constantly strike
for their own balance, reviewing priorities and reallocating time and energy.
Although our satisfaction arises from our hard work and achieving goals, but a
never-enough mindset can be draining physically and psychologically.
Sacrificing health or family time in pursuit of more wealth may ultimately
prove meaningless.
Going with the flow
Our
disappointment and frustration arise from discrepancies between our
expectations and reality. The stronger our desire for control of the outcomes,
the more likely we encounter disappointment or even a sense of failure and
powerlessness.
However,
it doesn't mean we shouldn't set goals and set about achieving them. But we
should focus on what we can control and influence and be prepared to tackle
outcomes that fail to meet our expectations.
Once we
accept that some aspects are out of our control, we will become happier and
more relaxed. Occasionally, pleasant surprises may emerge.
Cultivating passions
When you
are engaged in your passion, you don’t feel the passing of time. I agree with
the Japanese lifestyle advice called IKIGAI, which advocates for people to
develop a passion. It can be your favourite sports, arts, music, dancing,
gardening, bakery, or whatever you love spending time on. I have cultivated
many passions so that I don’t feel bored, such as travelling, photography,
making albums, reading, learning, writing, skiing and hiking.
Pursuing for personal
growth
Many
aspects of our life are not fully in our control, for instance, career,
business, finance, and relationships. We can put our efforts into pursuing good
outcomes and hope for the best, but nothing is guaranteed.
Personal
growth is within our control, i.e. choice of areas of learning, and how broad
and deep to learn. It is about investing time and putting in effort, which will
bring significant benefits in terms of knowledge, perspectives, confidence and
resilience. This is a fruitful, satisfying and enriching process.
After
spending many years enriching my knowledge in macroeconomics and finance, I am
expanding my horizons in the coaching and psychology world. I feel enriched
deepening my knowledge and this pursuit will remain my lifelong goal.
Pursuing life purpose
and meaning
Self-actualisation, the realisation of a person’s potential
and the full development of one’s abilities, which is the pinnacle of Maslow’s
hierarchy of needs, isn't something everyone knows how to pursue. Confucius, a
famous Chinese philosopher, said 五十而知天命，some people know the purpose of their life in this
world only when they reach around 50. Identifying your purpose and being able
to pursue it will add meaning to your life journey and become the source of
satisfaction.
I have a
strong feeling that my purpose is to help and support people. I aim to create
positive impacts on individuals, and hopefully to create a rippling effect to
spread to more people. I encourage individuals to follow their heart in
pursuit of whatever they long for. We only live once and it's ultimately very
fulfilling to be able to muster up the courage to chase your dreams.
Readers can refer to my previous article “Mindset Matters: A Positive Mind, A Positive Life!”
Winner Lee
Life Coach, Mentor, Writer
The original article was published on LinkedIn on December 2, 2024.
[1] The PERMA Model was developed by Dr
Martin Seligman which identified five elements to contribute to happiness, they
are Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationship, Meaning, and Achievement.
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