Learning Empathy: A Supportive Power

Learning Empathy: A Supportive Power

Empathy is the ability to understand others and their situations from their perspectives. It falls within the realm of interpersonal intelligence. Most people have a basic capacity to empathise, while highly sensitive individuals possess a stronger empathetic ability. However, empathy can also be learned and developed through effort and awareness.

As a coach, I listen attentively with a non-judgmental attitude and hold space for my coachees to speak freely, without interruption. When I do not fully understand someone’s situation, I ask non-judgemental, open-ended questions to explore their experiences and better understand their circumstances.

When someone is in the grip of intense emotions, especially following a traumatic event, what they need most is understanding and comfort, not immediate solutions. Allowing them to cry, release stress, and share their feelings is essential.

Supportive statements such as, “I understand this is hard for you”, “Your situation is truly challenging, and I can see how much you are going through” or “I’m here with you – take your time to express yourself”, acknowledge their pain and help process their grief, making them feel heard, validated, and accepted.

Empathy requires ongoing awareness and intention. We can deepen empathetic connection by asking gentle, sincere questions that invite further sharing, or by offering a warm, comforting presence through appropriate gestures, such as a hug or a reassuring touch on the shoulder or hand. Unless advice is explicitly requested, it is important to refrain from offering opinions or solutions, as premature guidance can be counterproductive.

Once they are calmer, we can revisit it another day and gently explore possible solutions. The purpose of sharing our insights or experiences is to inspire and encourage rather than to impose our own approach. It is crucial for individuals to maintain a sense of autonomy and self-efficacy, and for any solutions to align with their values, personality, and circumstances.

Life must go on, each person needs a different amount of time to heal, and some may never fully return to their former selves. It is important to understand that everyone is ultimately responsible for their own life. Others can offer support, but healing is an individual process. At a minimum, an individual’s goal is to regain the ability to perform essential functions – eating, sleeping, and working – even if some pain remains.

學習同理心：支持的力量

同理心是指從他人的角度來理解他人及其處境的能力。它屬於人際智能的範疇。大多數人都有基本的同理心，而高敏族則具有更強的同理心。然而，同理心也可以透過努力和覺察來學習和培養。

作為一位人身教練，我要以不帶批判的態度認真傾聽，並為我的學員創造一個可以自由表達自己的空間，不打斷他們。當我無法完全理解他們的處境時，我會提出不帶評判而開放式的問題，以探索他們的經歷，並更好地理解他們的處境。

當人們被強烈的情緒所困擾時，尤其是在經歷創傷事件之後，他們最需要的是理解和安慰，而不是立即得到解決方案。讓他們哭泣、釋放壓力並分享他們的感受是至關重要的。

例如「我知道這對你來說很困難」、「你的處境確實很艱難，我能感受到你承受的痛苦」或「我在這裡陪著你 – 慢慢來，別著急」之類的支持性話語，能夠承認他們的痛苦，幫助他們處理悲傷，讓他們感到被傾聽、被理解和被接納。

同理心需要持續的覺察和用心。我們可以透過提出溫和真誠的問題來加深彼此的連結，引導他們進一步分享；也可以透過適當的舉動，例如擁抱或輕輕地拍拍他們的肩膀或手，來給予他們溫暖的安慰。除非對方明確尋求建議，否則最好不要提供意見或解決方案，因為過早的指導可能會適得其反。

等他們平靜下來後，我們可以改天再討論這個問題，並溫和地探討可能的解決方案。分享我們的見解或經驗的目的是為了啟發和鼓勵他們，而不是強加我們自己的方法於他們身上。對每個人來說，保持自主性和自我效能是非常重要的，任何的解決方案都必須符合他們的價值觀、個性和實際情況。

生活仍然要繼續，每個人需要的療癒時間長短不一，有些人可能永遠無法恢復到以前的狀態。重要的是要明白，每個人最終都要為自己的生活負責。他人可以提供支持，但療癒是個人化的過程。至少，個人的目標是恢復執行基本的生活工能 – 吃飯、睡覺和工作 – 即使痛苦仍然存在。