EXPLORING YOUR VALUES AND BELIEFS

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Values and beliefs system

Our upbringing, culture, traditions, and education, combined with our evolving knowledge and life experiences, shape our unique values and beliefs system. This is why each of us perceives the world differently. These values and beliefs play a crucial role in moulding our mindset, which drives our decisions, attitudes, and behaviours. We may or may not resonate with the values and beliefs of others, just as others may not always connect with ours.

 

What are values?

Values represent who we are, what matters most to us. They act as an internal compass, guiding us toward a path we believe in. My core values, not in any order, are caring, creativity, family, financial stability, health, inner peace, integrity, personal growth, self-discipline and wisdom.

 

It is worth taking time to identify your values. Throughout life, we must make many decisions. When we reach critical crossroads, our values can help us make the best choices for ourselves.

 

 

Four steps to explore and identify your values:

  1. Find a list of common values from the internet.
  2. Pick ten to twelve that resonate with you.
  3. Rank them in order of importance.
  4. Revisit the ranking a few times to confirm which values truly matter most to you.

 

When life choices are made according to your core values, you feel a strong sense of fulfilment. Keep in mind that priorities are not static and may change at different stages of life.

 

In my parenting articles, I advocate for parents to guide their children in how to make decisions, rather than making decisions for them. When children obey their parents' choices, they may end up betraying their own values, which may undermine their confidence and lead to regret and even resentment.

 

Beliefs

Beliefs are our assumptions about the world surrounding us and they determine how we interpret our experiences and interactions with others. Our beliefs accumulate through our upbringing and life experiences, but they may not necessarily be shared by others – this is a bit of a truism, of course our beliefs are not shared universally. Our beliefs help shape our life and determine its course.

 

For example, limiting beliefs such as “I won’t perform well”, “I can’t survive on my own”, or “I’m not capable of building relationships”, are likely to discourage people from trying to improve themselves. Modifying these beliefs into more positive and constructive ones, such as “I can improve my performance through practice”, “I may struggle at first, but I will learn to manage on my own” or “I can learn how to build better relationships”, is likely to result in them taking initiative and exploring ways to achieve their goals. 

 

Therefore, changing one's beliefs will likely alter their path in life, leading to more successful and fulfilling outcomes.

 

Below is a list of my beliefs, which are critical in my journey and in pursuing my life purposes and meaning, which of course may not align entirely with those of my readers.

 

  1. Treat others with kindness and sincerity and most people will respond in a similar fashion. “Most” but not necessarily “all”. Contribute our own part, without expecting the same from others.

 

  1. Friendships and romantic relationships need both parties, not just one, to decide to connect. Relationships are a two-way street, so improving ourselves naturally attracts quality people. We tend to resonate with those who share similar values and mindsets.

 

  1. Positivity attracts more positive energy, while negativity attracts more negative energy. Be positive.

 

  1. “Two are better than one”. It is good to have company on our life journey for mutual care, support and respect. Cherish your partner and put effort into sustaining healthy long-term relationships. We can earn love only when we know how to love others.

 

  1. Direction is more important than working hard and fast. Hard work alone doesn’t always guarantee success; it is crucial to be on the right track. Break your goals into manageable steps and put in consistent effort. Staying on the right track, one step at a time, will bring us closer to what we truly want.

 

  1. Pursuing our dreams or goals requires action, not waiting for the perfect moment when everything feels ready. It is, at its core, a learning journey. The first step is often the hardest and most important: stepping outside our comfort zone after overcoming inner fear and self-doubt. Imperfections and even failures are inevitable in the early stages, but they are a natural part of growth. It is about "never trying, never knowing", each attempt reveals more about yourself. Through consistent effort, learning from mistakes, and ongoing reflection, progress is made. Over time, and through repeated practice, not only do you achieve your goals, but you also build expertise and move steadily toward excellence.

 

  1. Many people strive for a successful life, often defined by earning a lot of money or climbing up the corporate and social ladders. While it is important to build wealth to achieve financial freedom, accumulating more money beyond that is not a must but a personal choice. Chasing wealth solely to inflate a bank balance may not bring true meaning or purpose to life. In the past, I pursued job satisfaction, recognition from management and clients, positive relationships, personal growth, inspiring my children to learn, and creating a harmonious family. It was only after I left my job in finance that I began to explore the deeper meaning and purpose of my life. Since studying coaching and positive psychology, I discovered Dr. Martin Seligman’s PERMA model – Positive Emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement – which guides individuals in the pursuit of authentic happiness and lasting fulfilment.

 

  1. Enjoy life and create a life that you love. Develop healthy and long-term relationships, pursue dreams and to achieve the best version of yourself.

 

  1. Explore your strengths and passions. It may be a long journey but believe in yourself – you learn and grow to become excellent.

 

  1. Don’t compare your challenging situations with others’ success. Focus on your journey as everyone’s timetable is different.

 

  1. Put effort and raise awareness to improve every aspect of your life. Invest time and effort in personal growth, professional development, or relationships. Laziness and lack of awareness is hard to generate a happier and fulfilling life.

 

  1. Nice people bring us blessings, difficult people bring us lessons and new perspectives, and a discovery about ourselves. During struggles and challenges, don’t blame others, focus on solutions and lessons to avoid repeating mistakes. Difficult people have their struggles; it is their journey and none of our business. Focus on our own lessons.

 

  1. Just like the economy and equity markets, life has its ups and downs. When we are at the peak, stay humble because success is a result of many factors, including the support of others. Be grateful and acknowledge those who helped. In times of adversity, remain optimistic. Focus on finding solutions and revising strategies. Life moves forward when we learn and grow to overcome challenges. Trust that it is only a matter of time.

 

  1. In a challenging situation we tend to think that there's no short-term solution. While we cannot change the situation, we can change our attitude towards it. Accept it and focus on life aspects still within our control. Then take relevant action.

 

For example, when our family had to quarantine for seven days in a hotel in Hong Kong, instead of complaining about the unfavourable situation, I focused on studying a part-time online course "Positive Psychology: Resilience Skills”.


 

Final thoughts

You will develop new beliefs after new experiences or a refreshing discovery about yourself. Write them down to create your own life philosophy. 



Winner Lee

Life Coach, Mentor, Writer


The original article was published on LinkedIn on June 16th, 2025: https://lnkd.in/ernyzFEq

 

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