Enhancing Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Skills
Gardner’s multiple intelligences
Howard Gardner introduced the theory of multiple
intelligences in 1983 in a bid to better identify and define individuals’
abilities, as he believed traditional IQ tests failed to correctly evaluate the
comprehensive range of human intelligence. His theory is an important concept
and deserves more attention especially among educators and parents. It is
especially useful for parents because it can help them pinpoint their
children’s strengths and weaknesses and take steps to help them play to their
competencies and foster confidence. In the current education system, those who
do well in Verbal-Linguistic and Logical-Mathematical skills usually are best
performers in their primary and secondary education. However, excelling in
these skills does not guarantee a successful life. Assessing students on their
abilities based on these two domains may discourage those who are not good at
these during the early stages of their learning.
The Multiple Intelligences concept comprises of
Visual-Spatial, Musical, Verbal-Linguistic, Kinesthetic, Logical-Mathematical,
Interpersonal, Intrapersonal and Naturalistic aspects. Therefore, it is worth
for educators and parents to explore young people’s various abilities.
Individuals have different intelligence levels across different domains. Being inherently good in one domain is an
advantage at the starting point but ultimate success comes through persistence,
effort and drive to learn and grow. When seeking a life path, individuals
should identify their strengths so they can achieve optimal performance, which
will help boost their confidence and create a sense of accomplishment. Success
and recognition will encourage them to embrace their weaker areas and work hard
to improve.
Success is a product of an interplay of various factors. In
this dynamics, interpersonal and intrapersonal characteristics play a crucial
role. Interpersonal intelligence governs interactions with others, which is
critical in building better relationships both in professional and personal
realms. While intrapersonal intelligence regulates internal abilities, those
with strong intrapersonal intelligence are more self-regulated and driven to
achieve their goals and overcome challenges.
Hallmarks of interpersonal intelligence
Communication:
Effective communication needs more than just strong linguistic skills.
Individuals with strong interpersonal intelligence can communicate effectively
as they are able to: 1) articulate their ideas clearly, 2) listen attentively
and 3) comprehend the content of the conversation. They can adapt to different
communication styles of different people. They are able to accommodate those
who may not have the same level of information with patience and encouragement
that facilitates understanding.
Empathy: It is
described as “putting your feet into
others’ shoes”, which is an ability to understand others’ situations and
perceive their feelings and emotions without judgment. Understanding others and
their situations is crucial in building trustful relationships at work and in
personal lives. Individuals must put their personal views aside while focusing
on understanding others’ perspectives and consciously allow others to express
themselves freely and in detail. They can ask relevant questions to help deepen
their understanding. This action exhibits the listener's empathy while letting
the speaker feel valued. This is when a true connection emerges.
Sensitivity:
Highly sensitive individuals can easily understand verbal and non-verbal
messages. They can read the person from the way they express themselves via a
combination of inner sensitivity and strong observation. Therapists and
coaches, after conscious effort and focus on listening and observation, become
better attuned and responsive to others' communication signals. Individuals can
also train their sensitivity through the same process with continuous effort.
Social awareness:
Effective social interactions rely on strong understanding of the dynamics of
social behaviour and norms and accurate interpretation of social cues. People
without social awareness, who always upset others, find themselves unpopular. A transformation can only be executed when an
individual is aware of their issues and is dedicated to change. They need to
collect honest feedback to help them reflect.
Conflict resolution:
Those who are not afraid tackling conflicts can put effort into resolving them,
can understand the requirements and constraints of different parties try to
find common ground, and decide on compromises to facilitate mutually beneficial
solutions, resulting in a win-win situation. When encountering a contentious
situation, it is worth mustering courage to discuss it and propose solutions.
Approaching with genuine care and consideration is crucial.
Building
relationships: Interpersonal intelligence is essential in building and
maintaining positive long-term relationships. This includes building rapport,
cultivating trust, and collaborating effectively with peers, colleagues, and
partners. This skill facilitates effective teamwork and collaboration. Those
who can work in a team and coordinate with their teammates to achieve common
goals can effectively synergise with others’ strengths to achieve success. Most
employers aim to hire team players instead of geniuses because harmony and a
pleasant atmosphere at work are critical, while individualism can impede
collaboration. A giver who is willing to contribute is more welcome than a
taker who only care for their own benefit.
Persuasion and
influence: Individuals with strong interpersonal intelligence are
persuasive communicators who can influence others’ opinions, attitudes, and
behaviours. They can provide convincing arguments to instil their values in
others and motivate them to achieve their desired outcomes. Even individuals
who already possess these skills can still enhance them by improving
communication and raising their awareness of others’ needs and concerns. Enriching
knowledge, adding perspectives and exploring supportive arguments can boost
persuasion skills and influence.
Developing interpersonal intelligence is essential in
intimate relationships, family relationships, close friendships, workplace and
other social contexts. Building and maintaining trustful relationships is
advantageous in professional development and personal lives.
Scopes for intrapersonal intelligence
Intrapersonal intelligence is usually overlooked. We can
enhance our intrapersonal skills by raising self-awareness and deepening our
understanding of ourselves. Journaling can help to address our feelings and
emotions as well as connecting us to our deeper self. Improving intrapersonal
intelligence requires heightened self-awareness in order to reflect and
change.
Self-confidence:
Confident doesn’t mean arrogant; confident people know what they know and what
they don’t know. Enriching knowledge and gaining new skills and advancing in
the chosen direction can enhance confidence. A critical four-step process to
help gain confidence involves: 1) self-affirmation, 2) facing mistakes, 3)
avoiding comparison, and 4) focusing on improvement.
Self-discipline:
Exercising self-discipline can translate into enhancing self-control, managing
emotions, avoiding distractions, and effective time management. Someone who has
strong self-discipline has better ability to maintain healthy habits and is
more rational in making decisions. They can also exercise self-control to
manage money, delaying gratification and avoiding impulsive spending. Individuals
can improve by making plans, committing to actions and rewarding themselves for
achieving their goals.
Self-reflection and
self-awareness: Raising self-awareness is a precursor to change and
transformation. Individuals with strong self-awareness have better ability to
self-reflect, which leads to growth and improvement. Welcoming constructive
criticism and feedback is helpful as it enhances perspectives.
Resilience: When
resilient individuals encounter adversity, they will bend down but not break
and will gradually recover from the challenges or setbacks. The way to build
resilience is to maintain optimism, focus on exploring solutions, revise
tactics, take action, and never give up until a way out is apparent. Resilience
involves strong adaptability, mental flexibility and problem-solving skills to
tackle and overcome obstacles and recover from life difficulties. Reading and
learning can help individuals to develop resilience. Individuals who struggle
to handle adversity can seek external support to help them overcome obstacles.
Persistence: To accomplish a task requires persistence and
self-discipline. Someone persistent is determined to achieve their goals or
tackle a challenging situation. If one is feeling exhausted, it is better to
take a break and shift focus to something else, which allows their energy to
resume. Remember that we are human, not machines, having a pause is a sensible
and healthy choice.
Openness to new
ideas: A willingness to alter the chosen
course and explore new ideas is essential to effectively tackling challenges.
Adaptability and flexibility are also important in relationship building – it
is crucial to be non-judgemental and open-minded to welcome and absorb others’
ideas and perspectives. Cultivating a growth mindset is critical in the process
of broadening your thinking, enriching your knowledge, adding perspectives and
expanding your horizons.
People with weak intrapersonal skills, find difficulties in
connecting to their inner selves; and they probably find it hard to adopt a
reflective mechanism for self-correcting and improving. Enhancing intrapersonal
skills is pivotal to reaching goals and to personal advancement, and will help
in developing proper relationships, especially close relationships.
Change needs courage, willpower and action
Through this article, you are likely gaining a deeper
understanding of both interpersonal and intrapersonal skills — two essential
areas for improving relationships with others and yourself. Interpersonal
skills strengthen external connections, while intrapersonal growth is essential
for persistent, self-improvement and developing and sustaining positive
long-term relationships.
If tackling change seems too challenging, seeking external
support, such as relationship or life coaching, is a sensible option. A coach
acts as a mirror, helping an individual to see themselves more clearly,
providing honest feedback, raising their self-awareness, and empowering them to
make meaningful and imperative changes.
Winner Lee
Life Coach, Mentor, Writer
The original article was published on LinkedIn on April 7, 2025.
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